What a crazy three or four days it has been..... we had en extremely busy week of homework and studying for finals this week. On Thursday we finished our finals (a test, a paper, and a presentation) and Cherie told us she had something important to talk to us about. She started to tell us about incidents of violence that have been happening in Mexico and my heart just broke....I had had this talk before (when they told us CBC was closing) and I knew what was coming. I hoped with all of my heart she was just going to warn us to be careful (as she, Jeannine, Aaron, and Kristina were going back to North Park). Cherie told us about incidents of the drug cartels attacking police stations, homes of police chiefs, restaurants, etc. in towns near Morelia. They also intercepted a truckload of grenades that were headed to Morelia. There had been a grenade thrown in a group of citizens in Morelia last September and it was really calm after that for awhile but in the last few weeks these new situations have happened. The tears exploded immediately when Cherie told us that she had been talking to people at North Park and they had talked with the lawyer and they were closing the program. Morelia 2009 officially closed yesterday. We found out on Thursday afternoon and NP suggested that we leave as soon as possible. Abby, Brenda, Hannah, and I went to the travel agency and got a flight that left Morelia at 2:00AM on Saturday.
I was livid at first. I don't know if I have ever that mad in my life. I hate living my life in fear and I hated that North Park could make that decision for me and if I want to graduate as planned there is nothing I can do about that. I couldn't stay and get credits at North Park and it was so hard. As soon as we changed our plane tickets I stopped fighting it in my head and decided to make the best. I enjoyed my last time in Mexico and I tried to be positive. I cried some on Friday but I didn't really have a whole lot of tears left and it didn't seem real. I said bye to my Mexican family and got a plane. Now I've been home for a day and a half and it still doesn't seem real. I can't believe I'm really here, I'm not going back, and I'll be at North Park in a week. I love everyone here and it's good to see people but it's so hard. It's hard because I want to be there. It's hard because I wasn't prepared to leave; there were so many things I had put off till next quad--and now I'm regretting that a lot! It's hard because I'm back and have to decide a lot about where I'm going to live, what classes I'm going to take and all of that. I don't want to live at home but I don't want to go to North Park either. It's hard because I'm so confused. When I'm away from home, I just wanted it so bad. Now I'm here and I'm not sure I do. I'm not sure if I could/would live in latin america. I'm just so confused about things I have been so sure about before...
Anyway all in all it's been a really really hard week and now I'm home and bored and lonely and just sad. I am sorry if any of you are hurt by reading this but please please know that I am so happy to get to see everyone that I missed so much (but it just isn't the best circumstances to do so).
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